To my mother and the two other people that have ever read my blog, I apologize for being MIA. Now that I'm living the dream and living with my parents, I am back at it with more ridiculousness.
In my time off, I have gone back to my night job--slinging burgers--and even found a day job.
This particular occasion was one of those nights at Max and Erma's that continues to make me scratch my head in wonderment if it really happened.
During the nursing home hour from 4 p.m. to 5 p.m., two women and a teenager walked in and proceeded to sit themselves.
I walked over to their table and before I could finish "Hi my name is," the younger-older woman asked for a nutrition guide. She explained that she is "on that Weight Watcher's" and didn't want to use up all of her points for the day on dinner.
After delivering their waters and a nutrition guide, she started asking how many points I thought the Chicken Tortilla soup would have. Anyone that has eaten at Max and Erma's is already laughing while reading this.
"Its a bowl full of cheese, cream and a little bit of shredded chicken. I don't think its Weight Watcher's approved," I told her.
That didn't dissuade her though. It wasn't until I explained to her that to add a cup of it to a meal costs $2.99 and to replace a side with it costs $1.49 that she started getting mad at me because it was so expensive.
Sure, get angry at me because, clearly, I make the prices.
They needed more time before they could order, but she said, "get me an order of them soft pretzel sticks with extra queso!"
A diet-friendly appetizer for sure.
I returned to their table and immediately she started in that "it says right here on the menu that I can replace french fries with a cup of tortilla soup."
I said yes you can, but it will still be a charge of a $1.49.
"No it doesn't! It says right here you can replace it for no charge," she said pointing at the menu.
"Ma'am I don't make the prices or the menu, but the first line says replacing a side with one of those sides will be a $1.49," I said while pointing at the same part of the menu.
She wasn't convinced but she stopped arguing after seeing that I was not giving it to her for free.
She proceeded to place her order which was in no shape, way or form, close to being low in Weight Watcher's points.
"I'll get the fried shrimp with a loaded baked potato and extra ranch dressing on my salad," she said.
At this point, I was finished reminding her that to get a loaded baked potato was an extra $1.49. She was just going to have to deal with the fact that she can't follow a menu.
Now, at the time, I was too frustrated to see how funny this was to everyone else watching. But this next part, this next part got to me.
It was her mother's turn to order. And I'm going to spell this as phonetically as she said it, or at least try to.
"I'll have the fajitias," she said exactly how it looks. Forget how to pronounce Spanish "j's" for a moment.
Now I had a dilemma. I have to ask her if she wants chicken or steak FAJITAS. Do I pronounce it like she did so I don't make her feel bad about her ignorance, or do i pronounce it correctly and pretend like she didn't just butcher a Mexican staple food?
However, I didn't have to do either. Her starch-and-fried-loving daughter did all of the above for me.
"WHAT are you getting? OH you mean the FA-JI-TAS."
"Yeah, yeah those," her mother said.
Crisis averted.
Needless to say after arguing about prices for five minutes at the beginning, they wanted separate checks so they could use all four of their coupons.
....Just livin' the dream.
